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Reflection from March 5th, 2015 @ Age 33

RE:  I <3 YOU, PUTIN—and, Abe-y Lin(c)ol[n] **do** TOO ;0)



That caption took me so long to write ;0)

Lol.., ;0)


Paradise!  Is H.E.R.E.!  With me.., ;0)

Truly.., as evidenced by my writing abilities throughout the past 1.5 pages—> so!

Darya—or, Daryanna, lol ;0)

As I keep accidentally calling her in my mind..,

Missin’ my Miss ARIanna Lynn, iSuppose…

It’s true—iDo

Miss her..,

That girl—> ;0)

Alright, I’m EVER—so—slightly s.t.o.n.e.d. ;0)

And, listenin’ to Bobby Mar ;0)

Eatin’ a baaagel, lol.., just altogether J.A.M.M.I.N. w/the MAN—> ;0)


Okay, well, I’m havin’ an American Spirit now.., ;0)

Just post—smush last < 1/2 of my mornin’ cream-cheesed bagel a’top of the empty American Spirits Package.., ;0)

I couldn’t eat it—and then, I figured Darya would NOT get mad at me, for not eating it, and T.H.E.N.—> iCouldn’t resist smashing it right down, a’top those ol’ American Indians.., ;0)

Healing ‘em UP—you know!  With the c.r.e.a.m. n’ Bob Marley, n’all!


PS—then, iForgot why iGot on, e.v.e.n., to WRITE!


But, then, I flipped the page here in this ‘ere j.o.u.r.n.a.l.., nthen, I remembered (prolly, like 4 minutes ago now, already ;0) ..,

That, iGot on here ;0)


(a.k.a. not computer ;0)

To tell you all about this penny, ‘ere—iJust happened upon.., ;0)

Upon this ‘ere breakfast table, something ‘bout high school and chemistry class—and, the old exam I took at junior year in high school, iThink.., *EVEN* ;0)

Yeah, something ‘bout what I wrote on that exam—and, then, gave (exam paper, n’all ;0) —> !!!

To Senator Burke last December, along with his Becoming Part of Mary Jane’s path without prior knowledge of.., impending doom.., *CONSOLATION* prize ;0)

My scarecrow ;0)

I said to him, in that exam, in the teacher bonus (feedback section.., ;0)

That my favorite part of the class T.H.E. w—h—o—l—e semester.., ;0)

Was the experiment, where we melted the penny—‘cause, I just thought it was “neat”.., ;0)

iGot the L.I.N.C.O.L.N. spirit in me, since way—> back when ;0)

It’s T.R.U.E.!

These spirits, have been hittin’ my spirit up—since WAY b.a.c.k. when!


All my love—> ;0)


My teeth are further apart.  I can tell when I floss my teeth, with the same kind of tooth pick flosser as iUse at home.  Didn’t get stuck once, *even* ..,

Between my teeth!  And, that N.E.V.E.R. happens!



So, I just read this “note on personal responsibility,” in the Hawaii travel book—and, they began with a quote from TOP GUN.., ;0)

“Don’t let your ego write checks your body can’t cash.”

It’s amazing, really—how much Mother Nature has to teach us ;0)

Alright.., back to my Kalamata breakfast—Part Deux!

And, blow drying my hair—> it’s starting to feel like s.t.r.a.w. out here, in this wild state of nature ;0)

Around 10am ;0)

I was just layin’ in the sun havin’ a ciggy and, it occurred to me, what a great idea it is to have TV shows where one group of people who live a life rich in one sense, but weak or poor in another—are linked up with people of another group, who are rich/strong and weak/poor in direct, universal inverse opposite senses.  And, because of how, then—you get direct teaching and learning correlations going on, between different types of people.  It’s beautiful, really.


I have no idea what time it is ;0)

And, I don’t care!  Sometime between 10am and 12noon, ‘cause that’s when Darya’ll be back.

There’s this small, white, tall trash can to the right of my direct eye-periphery—and, it never moves (although, something this—>

big D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E.L.Y..,

Moved behind the other set of multi-shaped trash cans, in the corner to its left.

But, anyways, I keep imagining that it’s my Sadie—cat ;0)

White, as she is—almost all over, you know.  Anyways, that’s causing a lit-tle bout of homesickness (a.k.a. sick, because I’m away from my regular-circumstantial home, which I *also* l—o—v—e ;0)

But, iDunno, iGot a teeny, tiny fly bug all up in my face—flyin’ around, n’all, you know —(*also* ;0)— …

But, otherwise, just listenin’ to the birds and the children playing—and, all the other beautiful sounds of paradise.


Honest to god—the beauty, out here…


It’s almost whelming me O.V.E.R. board!


You know how, in life, you get into tough spots, and really begin to *wonder,* whether there really even c.o.u.l.d. —be— meaning to a life so full, at times, with crazy darkness?

Well, it’s so beautiful—I can t.e.l.l. you ;0)

To find myself on the “other” side now, with F.U.L.L. —confirmation— that EVERYthing in life, does in fact..,

Happen—for a REASON..,

If you want it to.., ;0)

That’s the KEY!

(to freedom! ;0)


My imagination ;0)

THAT is t.h.e. blindspot—wherein, iCultivate my beauty.  Inside my imaginAtion.., ;0)

Ohh, what fun!

PS—I feel so L.A.Z.Y. at the moment!


*Even* ..,



Hundred and eleventh birthday ;0)

I started reading ‘Lord,’ again ;0)

So, I’m at Island Lava Java, now—waitin’ on my morning (hah.., ;0) latte.., ;0)

And, I definitely —DO— feel out of my element, in the sense that, I’m in a geographic locale I’ve never been in before.  But, as for me..,

I feel S.O.L.I.D.

And, here comes the SUN—with my morning ;0) latte!


Ahhhhh.., ;0)

I’m back at the coffee shop.  There is no denying—>



P-A-R-A-D-I-S-E ;0)


And, being as such, it’s really kinda tough—to figure out w.h.a.t. to do, with myself ;0)

The girl at the counter, who made my iced cafe mocha—she’s got long blonde locks, in a single low hanging pony-braid..,

She’s also got this earthy, grainy gray, womanly-fitting t-shit with Audrey Hepburn on it.  Tiffani’s Hepburn, you know.  I do find myself wondering on pretty regular occasion, now..,

What in the world went o.n. in that —movie— again.


Haven’t seen it since the first-time viewing with JenJen, back in freshman year of college—when we became friends, and she was teaching me about herself.  It really is —interesting— how most humans are born to be one person in particular, but I was born so differently, to learn about all —those— people, and then improvise on the model, so as to create my very own self-made being.  I guess that’s what it means, then—about, bein’ one of god’s angels.  S’pretty —> C-O-O-L <— ;0)

Anyway, iWant.., ;0)


It was the art of —disguise— iWas learning all these years, pretending to “fit in” ;0)

Just, as an example…


Alright, Daryanna’s coming to get me now ;0)

I attempted walking home, but then, sensed very clearly, that I was heading in the W—R—O—N—G direction ;0)


So, I called Darya, and turned around and came back to the outdoor shopping area—or dining, whatev’s ;0)

Wherevers iAm ;0)

Okay, Y.E.S., Darya’s on her way.


In the (not-so) meantime ;0)

When I got up this AM (VERY!) early..,

At, like, 6:47am n’all…

The sun came up ever so slowly, creepin’ n’all—and, as he did, the colors did come OUT!  And, as he did so more and more, higher up n’all, you know—the colors grew ever so Vibrant, and more and more every so very much so vibranter.., ;0)

Darya’s here!


Well, I must say, I’m awfully tired right now!  I’m reading Tolkien’s ‘Rings’ and it’s fascinating, *scintillating*—> even..,

But, *also* exhausting!  What, with all the associated thought production!  No Wonder..,

I’ve never yet, ’til present—been capable to accomplish, its reading!

It A.L.L. makes sense, Now.., ;0)


Man’s search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life and not a “secondary rationalization” of instinctual drives.  This meaning is unique and specific in that it must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only then does it achieve a significance which will satisfy his own will to meaning.  There are some authors who contend that meanings and values are “nothing but defense mechanisms, reaction formations and sublimations.”  But as for myself, I would not be willing to live merely for the sake of my “defense mechanisms,” nor would I be ready to die merely for the sake of my “reaction formations.”  Man, however, is able to live and even to die for the sake of his ideals and values!

A public-opinion poll was conducted a few years ago in France.  The results showed that 89 percent of the people polled admitted that man needs “something” for the sake of which to live.  Moreover, 61 percent conceded that there was something, or someone, in their own lives for whose sake they were even ready to die.  I repeated this poll at my hospital department in Vienna among both the patients and the personnel, and the outcome was practically the same as among the thousands of people screened in France; the difference was only 2 percent.

Another statistical survey, of 7,948 students at forty-eight colleges, was conducted by social scientists from Johns Hopkins University.  Their preliminary report is part of a two-year study sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health.  Asked what they considered “very important” to them now, 16 percent of the students checked “making a lot of money”; 78 percent said their first goal was “finding a purpose and meaning to my life.”


Of course, there may be some cases in which an individual’s concern with values is really a camouflage of hidden inner conflicts; but, if so, they represent the exceptions from the rule rather than the rule itself.  In these cases we have actually to deal with pseudovalues, and as such they have to be unmasked.  Unmasking, however, should stop as soon as one is confronted with what is authentic and genuine in man, e.g., man’s desire for a life that is as meaningful as possible.  If it does not stop then, the only thing that the “unmasking psychologist” really unmasks is his own “hidden motive”—namely, his unconscious need to debase and depreciate what is genuine, what is genuinely human, in man.


Psychiatrist & Nazi Concentration Camp Survivor



Circa 1959