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Video Reflection from March 28th, 2017 @ Age 35

RE:  Paddy cake, paddy cake, **Shining** MAN—UP me the Annie, as **fast** as you can ;oD

I mentioned earlier how everything that was not connected with the immediate task of keeping oneself and one’s closet friends alive lost its value.  Everything was sacrificed to this end.  A man’s character became involved to the point that he was caught in a mental turmoil which threatened all the values he held and threw them into doubt.  Under the influence of a world which no longer recognized the value of human life and human dignity, which had robbed man of his will and had made him an object to be exterminated (having planned, however, to make full use of him first—to the last ounce of his physical resources)—under this influence the personal ego finally suffered a loss of values.  If the man in the concentration camp did not struggle against this in a last effort to save his self-respect, he lost the feeling of being an individual, a being with a mind, with inner freedom and personal value.  He thought of himself then as only a part of an enormous mass of people; his existence descended to the level of animal life.  The men were herded—sometimes to one place then to another; sometimes driven together, then apart—like a flock of sheep without a thought or a will of their own.  A small but dangerous pack watched them from all sides, well versed in methods of torture and sadism.  They drove the herd incessantly, backwards and forwards, with shouts, kicks and blows.  And we, the sheep, thought of two things only—how to evade the bad dogs and how to get a little food.


Just like sheep that crowd timidly into the center of a herd, each of us tried to get into the middle of our formations.  That gave one a better chance of avoiding the blows of the guards who were marching on either side and to the front and rear of our column.  The central position had the added advantage of affording protection against the bitter winds.  It was, therefore, in an attempt to save one’s own skin that one literally tried to submerge into the crowd.  This was done automatically in the formations.  But at other times it was a very conscious effort on our part—in conformity with one of the camp’s most imperative laws of self-preservation: Do not be conspicuous.  We tried at all times to avoid attracting the attention of the SS.

There were times, of course, when it was possible, and even necessary, to keep away from the crowd.  It is well known that an enforced community life, in which attention is paid to everything one does at all times, may result in an irresistible urge to get away, at least for a short while.  The prisoner craved to be alone with himself and his thoughts.  He yearned for privacy and for solitude.  After my transportation to a so-called “rest camp,” I had the rare fortune to find solitude for about five minutes at a time.  Behind the earthen hut where I worked and in which were crowded about fifty delirious patients, there was a quiet spot in a corner of the double fence of barbed wire surrounding the camp.  A tent had been improvised there with a few poles and branches of trees in order to shelter a half-dozen corpses (the daily death rate in the camp).  There was also a shaft leading to the water pipes.  I squatted on the wooden lid of this shaft whenever my services were not needed.  I just sat and looked out at the green flowering slopes and the distant blue hills of the Bavarian landscape, framed by the meshes of barbed wire.  I dreamed longingly, and my thoughts wandered north and northeast, in the direction of my home, but I could only see clouds.


The corpses near me, crawling with lice, did not bother me.  Only the steps of passing guards could rouse me from my dreams; or perhaps it would be a call to the sick-bay or to collect a newly arrived supply of medicine for my hut—consisting of perhaps five or ten tablets of aspirin, to last for several days for fifty patients.  I collected them and then did my rounds, feeling the patients’ pulses and giving half-tablets to the serious cases.  But the desperately ill received no medicine.  It would not have helped, and besides, it would have deprived those for whom there was still some hope.  For light cases, I had nothing, except perhaps a word of encouragement.  In this way I dragged myself from patient to patient, though I myself was weak and exhausted from a serious attack of typhus.  Then I went back to my lonely place on the wood cover of the water shaft.


Man’s Search for Meaning—> Part I:

Experiences in a Concentration Camp/Circa 1959.

**America** is only a secondary object in the systems of [money] politics—[money] consults the good of [**America**] no further than it answers [money’s] own purpose. Wherefore, [money’s] own interest leads [money] to suppress the growth of [**America**] in every case which doth not promote [money’s] advantage, or in the least interferes with it. A pretty state we should soon be in under such a second-hand government, considering what has happened! Men do not change from enemies to friends by the alteration of a name; and in order to show that reconciliation now is a dangerous doctrine, I affirm, that it would be policy in [money] at this time, to repeal the acts, for the sake of reinstating [money] in the government of the [states]; in order that [MONEY] MAY ACCOMPLISH BY CRAFT AND SUBTLETY, IN THE LONG RUN, WHAT [MONEY] CANNOT DO BY FORCE AND VIOLENCE IN THE SHORT ONE. Reconciliation and ruin are nearly related.

THOMAS PAINE/Common Sense—>

§ Thoughts on the Present State of **American** Affairs/Circa 1776 !