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Reflection from February 3rd, 2017 @ Age 35




Hi.  It’s me.

Everything is disgusting.


Nahhh, I’m just kiddin’ but, it does feel that way today—it’s so, gray.


Sigh.  However, I <3 these grey days…

What in the world, is the difference—between “grey” and “gray” anyway?!  Lol…

I do wonder!  Anyway from that, though, sigh

I <3 grey days (we’ll just alternate ;oD)—because they make the sunny days all, the greater ;oD

You know what I’m sayin’ ;oD

What I’m saying, (in case you don’t!)—is that the political news blows these days ;oD

Lol, it’s true!  So boring—boring or wretched, hence the prior “everything is disgusting” feeling.  Plus, I got some wicked kinda pimples on my forehead—the topmost (tip-top ;oD) knuckle on my middle-finger on my right-hand feels broken, sigh

Since yesterday, when I spent like 5-7 hours straight packing up Christmas decorations.  Which did feel nice, having accomplished something.  Sigh.  Physical and concrete—having accomplished something, lol…

Tangible and measurable in the sense that other people can see—at least, generally speaking.

Sigh.  Anyway, it’s just a gray day!


No big deal, at all.  And I am getting things done—more than you even know ;oD

Sigh.  And, it is heavy lifting—and I am, doin’ it, all by myself.


Which does make me the heavyweight champ ;oD

JUST, as soon as I’m done!  And, ’til then—I’ma just keep on keepin’ on, whilst simultaneously dreamin’a the neighborhood pool o’er at the Clubhouse, and the glory of the beauty that will be, come spring.




I feel as disgusting right now, as you could not even possibly—IMAGINE ;oD


And I really do feel it—as true as true, can be ;oD

Which makes me laugh, ‘cause I know it has nothing to do with me ;oD


Got some shady-ass “religious” people out there—all trying’a project their wretchedness on o’er, to me ;oD

And it isn’t working, and they just can’t understand WHY ;oD

Shady shady!

I’m not talking anything, like SLIM Shady—all bein’ a good guy deep down, but frontin’ like he’s a horror show on the surface (although, obviously, depending on the angel err! on the angle, from which you’d happen to be looking!) ;oD

Well, in any case, it’s not like I don’t <3 growing “thick” skin—‘cause then I get’a shed it, and the new growth is always so fabulous, beneath!

It’s absolutely difficult to imagine, the kinds’a thoughts these peeps, USED to think—that they were “just” gonna do away with America and her good ol’ U.S. Constitution; just a hot second AFTER accepting Red October benefits from “America’s” enemy—to America’s detriment.  Bunch’a traitors, yo!  I don’t think so ;oD

They will think again, and this time—once a’more, they’ll think **different** ;oD

And, we’ll go around and around and around AGAIN—as many times, as it TAKES!  But, in the meanwhile—I think I’ma analyze these 10-articles down in writing, actually.  It’s burdening my spiritual **video** time ;oD

Love, love, love!!!!!!!


Two things:  [1] Mother; and [2] Toe.



First, you just missed a grand moment, ‘cause I made myself finish folding laundry—‘stead a sittin’ right on down real quick, to catch the moment while it was happening.

Ahh well, in any case—although noting, that unusual kinda “strict” cruelty I just carried out upon myself, needlessly…

That’s a “sign” (i.e. symptom err, whatever you wanna, call it)—it’s not a behavioral quality natural to my own character…


Needlessly—that’s the important part, because I no longer place force upon myself, unless absolutely necessary.  HENCE, the fact that I did that, there…


In addition to the manner I’m presently going ON and on—about nonsense ;oD


Tells me, many others who are calibrating in at levels less than my present level of consciousness—are talking about me, in a not so super positive and constructive manner, regarding the kinds’a stuff I’m about’a tell you, which they would prevent me from sharing with you, if they had their way.  So

Numero Uno:

Lol, I was just folding my laundry here right before I sat down to write—and I thought to myself, “MUH-ther” ;oD

I thought, “I’ma do the 10-article analysis in writing—and then, the whole overarching analysis, for my next VIDEO.”


It was one of those very exciting *aha* moments of clarity, lol—that always seem this anti-climactic, if *not* recorded down into writing without a delay.  But, that was the point

And then, toe


Yeah, gettin’ some feeling back in an interesting place, again—I mean, an interesting, physically-descript location.

Namely, left-foot, to the left of my big-toe—you have those two long toes there, before you get to the second-to-last and pinky toes, you know?

So, I keep getting this feeling, right—like I’m walkin’ around in bare feet and a hair on the ground, gets stuck between those two particular toes.  But, what’s interesting about it, that feeling just right there—is that, the place where that second-toe was broken and dislocated and just layin’ over across my third-toe there, that’s where I keep feelin’ the phantom hair!  Truly!  Hmm…

So, that whole ordeal happened during a dismount off the “high” bar when I was 13, I think—lol, back when I still did “physical” gymnastics ;oD

And, I didn’t let go soon ENOUGH—and that’s what happens…


That’s what I learned—that, that’s what happens when you do that.


Timing, you know—super important ;oD

Anyway, let go too late, was super close to the bar whilst flipping, toe hit the bar on my way down—and voila ;oD

Toe injury!


Anyway, then, that’s what it all looked like, ALL the long-ass way to the hospital—just my second-toe there, the one just right next to the BIGtoe, on my left-foot…

Just hangin’ on, all LIMP, you know—over that third-toe there, to the left of it.

And so, we get to the hospital and the doc or whomever, “set” it (straight)—and it healed up fine, but for a lit-tle bulge of scar tissue, JUST below the “knuckle” of that second-toe where it bends there.

So, that’s where I’m regaining “feeling,” there—what with the “phantom” hair, lyin’ a’top the scar tissue of that one toe, and then extending down onto the top a’my foot, between the two toes, there.  With the sensation then, ending in a location just above and to the right of my navy-blue Star of David tattoo.  Just prolly like, an inch up, and an inch to the right—from the upper-most tippy-top point, of my Star of David’s upward facing triangle’s top.

It’s very bizarre in that, at least in this moment, it really does feel—that I get these “sensational” kinda feelings in my body, and then they stay, until I write all the deets out in my journal, you know—and then, once I do that, the feeling subsides and the sensation goes away.