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Reflection from May 28th, 2014 @ Age 32


My god…

I read the whole goddamned Dispatch today (sans sports and food) and I don’t even know why!  My mom just kept saying—left The Dispatch for you, brought the paper in for you, left it on the counter for you—and I don’t know why!!!  But in any case, I did actually read it—and it was, actually, rather enlightening!

I just skipped on past all the crap and boring shit, and actually found it very useful.  Notably, to keep tabs on the government (I don’t know if that’s to be expected or what ;0)—but I don’t know, even Michael Kirkman had an OpEd in there today!  Kinda makes me a little nervous actually ;0)

That case that the legislature would appoint me (finally!) to a position in Senate Bill 43—wondering oh my god

WTF do I do next!  Hah ;0)

Not super nervous though—because albeit a newbie, our leadership presently sucks anyway.  So, it’d be a great time to get in and shine ;0)

Or, at the very least—look less bad than I otherwise would, for making mistakes.  I don’t foresee any mistakes though.


Who knows!!?  No, I think I’ll be great.  If they’d just appoint me already.  And I sincerely hope that they do—not only because it’s my dream, but because otherwise I am f-u-c-k-e-d!  Sigh…


Well, thunder’s rolling and the House Floor would’ve started 5 minutes ago.  When I looked at the clock last, it was 5:01pm—starting time…

When I was a very little girl, I used to go to Camp Tip-a-canoe every summer for one week long—and it was long, with all those spiders sharing the shower facilities with us.  I was usually afraid to go, afraid of the people…

Not so much the camp counselors—it was YMCA and they were all, always very nice.  I was afraid of the other kids—afraid of my capacity to make friends.  But as I got older, I looked forward to going more and more—to ride the horses.

Anyway, one particular year when I was still very young, it was a particularly hot summer and I think—it was a Wednesday I’m thinking of—and we got there on Sunday, so 90 degree weather for four days straight with no air-conditioning like at home ;0P

And on this one particular day, all the campers dragged their dirty, sweaty bodies up the enormous “hill” (i.e. mountain) to the dining hall for lunch.  And we ate, and it was hot—as we all crowded indoors with the kitchen, maybe about 200 kids total.

But after we were all done eating, and dishes were cleaned up—we formed a very large circle on the outskirts of the dining hall, and we all began Indian chants.  Follow the leader—as we chanted to the Indian Gods to bring the rain and with it, cooler temperatures.  And it was very loud—and we were all chanting and holding hands and stomping our feet along in accord.  And don’t you know it, about 20 minutes later—the rains came, with lightening and thunder clapping down from our Lord.


Now, of course—I’m sure rain was on the schedule ;oD

But I didn’t know that—or realize it, quite back then.  And as a child, it was just the most amazing experience—to find that we really can make a difference together, we as human beings.  And so now, I don’t know…

Maybe, just a silly little camp story—told by a silly lit-tle girl, living here inside my heart.  But, maybe it is more than that—and, we just don’t know it yet.  We don’t have a science yet, sophisticated enough to measure the differences we can make together as human beings.

And so, while I await the resolution to S.B.43 which is notably not officially on the schedule as per G.Collver and the Hannah Report—I don’t know…

I just wonder what this Great Assembly has in store—as I keep on hoping for more…

It is possible—and that’s all the further, I need to know ;0)