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Reflection from August 10th, 2013 @ Age 32

RE:  WHEN *NOT* GETTING WHAT YOU KIND OF WANT, OPENS THE DOOR TO GETTING *EXACTLY* WHAT YOU’VE SPENT A LIFETIME DREAMING FOR ;oD

My life is in complete limbo right now.  I hate it because it’s terrifying and my meds aren’t exactly right—but I love it because it feels like a new, fresh start.  Like I’m beginning my life all over again, but this time with the skill I actually need—and I learned it all on my own with the help of some very special mentors. 

I just wanted to jot down this morning that I had a dream last night where Daria came to visit me.  She said to me, “don’t worry, everything is going to be fine, you will get your energy back and you will do all of the great things that you wanted to do.  Just keep moving forward.”  It was so comforting to hear after all she too, has been through and that horrible divorce she went through. 

I also dreamt that I got the Huntington job, except for some reason I was distressed because it said I had come in at second place.  But also that I had gotten the job too, but some other girl’s name was in first place.  So who knows, maybe there’s some lady who works there who has been the no.1 candidate to move into the position from within the company, and I’m about to bust her out of the spot.  I mean who knows.  All I know is that I gave it everything I had to give—blood, sweat, tears and all, everything I had that I could give to them.  So we shall see what happens.

On another note, I’m going to take Mister D to Panera to get some pastries for my folks when they awake.  I know they like that, at the very least.  I’ve kind of been annoying them lately because I need someone to talk to in person, and I don’t really have anyone else I can talk to in person right now.  Everyone else is just not around.  So anyways, my alarm is going off…a lil’ En Vogue you know—Givin’ Him Something He Can Feel n’ all ;0)

Oooohhhweeee!!