Reflection from May 18th, 2012 @ Age 30
RE: BEGINNING THE LONG, UNCHARTERED JOURNEY *BETWEEN* WHO I AM SOCIOLOGICALLY *SUPPOSED* TO BE—AND WHO I WAS BORN TO BE.
I don’t know what the fuck is gonna happen now. I feel horrible. I feel so tired I can’t even begin to explain how I tired I fucking feel. I swear too goddamn much, probably—or at least, Danielle noticed when I sent her a few writing samples today. Dietrich hates me because I never spend enough time with him. Adam probably hates me because I missed his call at 1pm today after his bronchoscopy, when he woke up sedated and I guess he was telling everyone he was on the golf course just finishing up a game of golf in the sun and I was in the goddamn cart riding with him. I fucking feel horrible.
Adam’s with his mom—she went with him to Pittsburgh this time so I could finish this motherfucking book I was supposed to finish last Sunday and now this Sunday is almost here and I’m still not fucking gonna be done with this bullshit. I don’t even feel like writing. I just wanted to check in and let you know how fucking horrible I feel. Do with it, what you will.
Hmm…I wonder if this is another dream turned nightmare about to come true. Fuck.
It’s the damnedest thing, that FDC. Wouldn’t you know, Star Wars is on TV tonight…specifically, Episode I—The Phantom Menace (i.e. circa 1999). I’ll be damned. If that ain’t David, then I’ll be motherfuckin’ damned!
I tell ya, I can’t wait to see this Snow White and the Huntsman. Can’t wait to meet Charlize Theron! Hahahaahhah!