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Reflection from April 12th, 2012 @ Age 30

RE:  THE GIFTEE MUST CHOOSE THE GIFTER **BACK** — AND *THEN*, LIFE’S CURSE TURNS *INTO* A BLESSING.

Second to last day of this hellhole life of “being” a lawyer (i.e. trying so very very not to be, except to the extent necessary to keep appearances up).  Except now my Friday the 13th has commeth, and I really couldn’t give two shits about such false pretenses any longer.  At least at “work” (i.e. at ol’ run of the mill and etc…”work” as I have only known it up to this moment in time).  As for the rest of my life…

Well, it’s slightly more complicated (?).  It’s not really, except that it is.  I mean, it’s not complicated to me because my mind is made up as to my next two goals and so it follows, at least for that distance, my sights are set.  (In other words — Cultivating Beauty and M-Series.)

So then, I suppose it is clear that the only “complicated” part confusing this matter is the slim force of reality.  But really, when it comes to destiny, what the fuck does “reality” have to do with anything?

I will not be trapped by this “reality” that I have tangibly perceived up to this particular day in time.  I will not be suffocated by the enveloping throws of anyone else’s limited perception of reality either.

Hear me now, because this is not spoken in some manic or depressed stupor.  I am here, I am stable, AND I AM A CHOSEN ONE.

So, to whomever may be listening, reading or perceiving me in any other manner:

If you think that I am anything less than special, then let me tell you…you need to have your fucking vision checked.  Peace out—

Later

Well Adam and I are back speaking again.  It’s better, but really weird.  Something’s already changed but I couldn’t put words to it quite yet.

But we’re civil again so I guess that’s something.

Anyways, just told him as per g-chat that I feel like I’m getting ready to leave for vacation for the rest of my life.  God do I feel so fucking good!