Reflection from September 13th, 2007 @ Age 26
RE: CONSCIOUS INSIGHT BROUGHT UPON BY A BOUT OF EUPHORIC MANIA.
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever before really tried to be friendly, but I’m happy to tell you that it’s really starting to work out great. I don’t know that before this point in my life, I’ve been in a place where it was even possible to really be friendly; I never felt safe enough to be willing to put myself in that position where I could be rejected. Ahh but you see now I have a new perspective!
You see, I now know that if someone is mean to me, chances are most likely that his or her conduct doesn’t really have anything actually to do with me. I mean, when people are in pain, they are mean to other people because they feel like they have to protect themselves. I know because that was me just not long ago. But the funny thing is, being mean in reality creates not a more peaceful, safe atmosphere; rather it creates hostility among us and brings about a negative, destructive consequence instead. It’s so funny how the mind lies to itself in such irrational ways when it’s really trying to protect itself. I think it is the ego in all of us that brings upon us all such misery.