Reflection from August 14th, 2007 @ Age 26
RE: THE RECREATION OF EVIL INTO GOOD BY GRAND GESTURE.
I’m going through and typing up all of my old journals (well…I haven’t even finished the first and I think there may be nine or ten by now!), and I’m completely in awe of my gift. I have been wanting for a long time to write this book of mine—and I am in total disbelief that the material is all here. I already have all the material I need for at least the first book…if not more. And I’m not talking any small book either…I’m talking substantial substantive substance included! I just can’t believe it.
I also can’t believe how depressing it is just reading through them. And I haven’t even made it past the first one! I truly cannot believe what I’ve created. And it won’t be long now till the first edited creation will be ready for publication! I am truly a writer—in all my pain and glory. I’ve found in myself what I’ve always wanted to be. One of the many things anyways…but most definitely one of the most important. All this time, and I had no idea. No idea what I was building and creating. Or maybe some idea, but no idea it would actually all come together one day. No idea I would actually be capable of putting it all together for myself one day. And yet all this time I’ve been building something completely amazing and wonderful.
And the more I think about it, the more I see how this book is my opportunity to begin changing the world around me. Small gestures are nice and do make some differences—but grand gestures inspire grand changes. I so very much want to inspire others to change for the good. It’s so funny how I have these skills and somehow they’ve just come to be; somehow I was just open enough to allowing myself to continue on a journey where I would have the opportunity to begin cultivating all this wonderful substance inside of me. I’ve never felt more alive and when I participate in developing my gift, preparing it for the world, preparing myself for the world—I feel finally like I have a real live contribution to make. A contribution that will one day be felt across this universe.