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Reflection from January 16, 2012 @ Age 30


I really do believe in the importance of reevaluating, every now and again, from time to time, what it is that we believe in.

I know it’s unusual of me, as most people don’t think about that sort of thing until someone close to them dies.  I suppose, if that’s the case though, then perhaps it’s not all that unusual for me to be doing it at all, at this point.

Anyway, I don’t know that I’ve written about this prior or not, but this is how I see it:

We are human beings.  God is some other sort of being.  We are partly the type of being that God is, but with incredibly limited vision.  God, I believe, can see everything, all at one time, together—he can see all of us, what we are all doing, how it is all happening to interconnect and influence the actions of others and the happenings around us, etc.  We, on the other hand, are only able to perceive what is in front of us, based upon what we have seen before.  It’s really quite remarkable, then, the difference in perception—not only between God and us, but even just among each of the human beings in this world.

Anyway, I had a point, oh yes!  Okay, so yes, God does not like when we “sin”, meaning, he (interchangeable with “she”, although most likely, of course, “it”) does not like when we hurt others or when we hurt ourselves.  But the reason God is able to forgive us is because he knows we are his soldiers on the front line—facing evil in a realm in which God cannot experience first hand.  He put us here, in good and evil, to see what we can make of ourselves, and to see what can be done, and then overcome, by the human spirit.  So, that’s about all the further I’ve gotten at this point—may seem a little sparse, but that’s the result of much pondering thought and I suppose there’s not much else I can say.

I do think it’s important though, and I will never forget the day that came before when I asked Stella if she believed in God and she told me she did not.  Still not sure how I feel about that—I think it just took me by surprise, and made me think about whether or not I too, should believe at all.

Isn’t funny, how those moments, they just surprise the hell out of you and make you question what it is that you believe in too?  It’s funny how so many religions try to remove searching, when searching is the only method that brings true belief in the very first place.