REFLECTION FROM DECEMBER 14, 2002 @ AGE 21
RE: WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
I am not so sure I am in love with Crosby anymore. In fact, I definitely do not think I am in love with Crosby anymore. But I’m still not sure what the hell being ‘in love’ means anyway…
I’m sick of being at school. I want winter break, work, money, parents, family, Christmas. Not Crosby. Not New Year’s with Crosby. Not f–king beirut tables and natty-light and shots and goddamn ping pong balls. I want to be in law school with flat screen monitor laptop, bed, apartment, job, fax/scan/copier printer, real friends and happy hours! I want study groups and Starbucks café mochas and nice restaurants and lavish holiday parties I can dress up for! I want fresh markets and vegetables and flowers on my kitchen table and windowsill. I want the f–king sun in my eyes and warming my skin. I want to be in shape. I want to be a teeny tiny fighting machine. I want to be a survivor. I want to find out where I fit in this world, figure out what I can do. I want horses and green grass for acres and acres. Ugh! It’s gonna be beautiful!