It’s occurred to me today that I’m doing a magnificently spectacular job at not coping well with my mental and emotional faculties as of late. Part of it has to do with the stress of losing my job, part to do with the pharmacy causing me to take a medication for three weeks, to which I have consistently been suffering an allergic reaction. But most of it, I think, has to do with my own choices. I know what to do to make myself better…I just have not been doing it. I’ve felt I’ve not had the energy to do so, and hence, I’ve not so done. However, if it is my dream to be an effective advocate for those of us who suffer from differing brain chemistry structures in the midst of a country that so heinously discriminates against us for it, then I very well cannot accomplish my goal down here in the dumps. Because that is where I am at right now…down, down so far into the depths of darkness. Again. I have fallen.
But all hope is not yet lost. I have agreed to participate in a mental health conference (session no.9) here in Columbus and speak on December 17th to the process and achievement of mental health. I intend to do so. As such, I now intend to switch gears on Jane Says from legislative advocacy to coping and recovery. My first step will be to get some rest. I stayed up all night last night reading the 48 Laws of Power, worrying about others who are discriminating against me and how I can change their perspective on those of us with alternative brain chemistry functioning. I am tired now. And so I will rest now. Tomorrow will be a new day. I will wake up and I will start anew. And I will begin building my path back up once again from the abyss.