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CULTIVATING BEAUTY

By Marissa Kristina Varcho

You don’t know me and I don’t know you, and yet I’ve the glass slipper to your missing shoe.  For despite my being a writer yet unknown, to your questions I’ve the answers you’ve not yet been shown.  And so as it goes, this that and the other aside, I’ll show you a truth most others only will hide.

I am not Jewish, but on my left foot you’ll find, tattooed in navy blue lies a Star of David sign.   Contradiction that it is, it must exist without sense, but then perhaps maybe also its meaning lies beyond its pretense.  And so here is another, so I can be sure that I’m clear, of the happenings within me where at once two opposites appear.  If you look to me for evidence, you will find inside the proof, of a promise held from innocence to live loyally by the truth.  From out of which it follows the potential for confusion, to find that as a lawyer I have not changed my conclusion.

I shine this light for reason, upon the darkness that’s within me, to help you see the blind spot wherein I cultivate my beauty.  When I was a little girl I used to dream of what could be, to escape the lonely darkness of this world’s reality.  So when the world turned cold and mean, and frightened me to death, I trusted my white knight would come before my final breath.  But from these dreams my mind formed a belief in fairytales, which followed me into the world and left me sick and pale.  For in this world I found belief could offer no protection, from the mocking pity and cruel disdain returned for my affection.  And from my broken heart I learned, as lessons always follow, that in this case of life what seems so true is often hollow.

But it strangely happened then, within this state of devastation, a fire lit of courage grew out from under my fixation.  And now it was this light that followed as I continued on my way, and although its strength I questioned, its conviction would not sway.  For in my naive search for truth, within reality’s deception, I could not understand why some chose blindness o’er perception.  And without this flame inside me, I may have done as others did, and chose a path of darkness wherefrom light I could have hid.  And in a foolish promise then, with the land where time stands still, abandon truth to ignorance disguised as a free will.

But ohh that time kept moving, and though my truth was not forsaken, still by that sleight of hand, from me my first true love was taken.  And so the tides then turned and on my broken bloodstained path, truth became necessity as my sadness turned to wrath.  Each step to love a testament, I searched to find its missing beauty, but it was only in the darkness now, that I could fulfill my primal duty.  So when I came upon the crossroads as all humans do from time to time, I could be sure which path to choose despite the riddles and the rhyme.  And I stood there by myself with nothing but a flame of hope inside, and then stepped into the darkness to save the truth from evil’s lies.