REFLECTION FROM APRIL 12TH, 2008**
RE: THERAPY – ITS BENEFITS VS. ITS DETRIMENTS
WRITTEN 4/12/2008 @ AGE 26
I was telling Stella on my visit how I thought therapy was helpful in that it helped me understand how my childhood affected who I’ve become, and taught me to figure out how to be incredibly more conscious of my own thoughts and feelings, but I said other than that it was pretty much pointless because it took place in a vacuum, and that my therapist didn’t seem to understand that in real life, with real people, you often have to give up your own desires or preferences in order to love others, and support others who you love.
Vicki treated me like I lived in a vacuum and I do believe urged me to think and act in selfish ways. Therapy was often about taking care only of myself, which can be helpful at times, but most of the time, is self-centered and destructive towards personal relationships with those people I love most. And do you know, Stella told me she doesn’t think all therapists are like the one I had, and that good therapists help you to function in the real world and help you deal with relationships in which you give and take because you choose to, because that’s how you love others, by giving of yourself to them. Stella thinks very lowly of my former therapist from all that she’s heard, which is a significant amount, and thinks that Vicki had so many of her own personal problems, that they clouded her judgment and ability to effectively treat me. I can’t say that I disagree.
Vicki had huge personal and professional problems of her own, I think she was co-dependent upon my relationship with her in that she needed me to love her and do exactly what she said in order to believe my therapy was going well, and that she was completely unprofessional in not referring me to a psychiatrist when I told her I thought I might be bipolar.
Vicki was not an expert in bipolar disorder. Hell, she wasn’t even an MD! She was a social worker way out of her league because she could only see addiction and depression and anxiety, which in fact are a part of a larger problem, which I told her, namely which turned out to be bipolar. I thought I suffered from something much larger, something which was manifested through substance abuse, depression and anxiety, which she took as denial of my drug addiction leading her only further to think I was a drug addict.
She suffered from such tunnel vision, and the scariest part is, I think she liked having the power to manipulate my mind. The experience was beneficial in ways for me, but largely I think my experience was with an incompetent mental-health “professional”, which largely inhibited my treatment and eventual correct diagnosis of bipolar disorder. It’s unfortunate I allowed her to manipulate my mind for as long as I did…
NOVEMBER 9TH, 2013–LEGISLATIVE UPDATE: The Ohio House of Representatives Judiciary Committee sent out notice last week that there will be a hearing on House Bill 104 (H.B.104) this coming Wednesday, November 13th, 2013. H.B.104 is the legislation pending in Ohio’s House which both (1) proposes to force treatment upon Ohio’s mentally ill population regardless of presence of risk of harm, and (2) which NAMI Ohio is in support of, despite its commitment to “improve the quality of life and insure dignity and respect for persons with serious mental illness”. H.B.104 does not include any additional funding for implementation of enhanced mental-health support services for the mentally ill. All it proposes to do is allow persons like “Vicki” above, namely incompetent mental-health “professionals”, to take control over the minds of Ohio’s mentally ill population. This is not a good idea…
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